April 27, 2008

(Brad) I have been feeling a lot of pressure to learn Spanish so I can do my work effectively. Yesterday I was in a local coffee shop run by YWAM (Youth With A Mission). They have a couple of bookshelves full of books the customers may read. My head was getting a little dizzy from trying to cram more verbos (the Spanish word for verbs) into it, so I decided to look at the books and came across a book written by John Piper titled The Supremacy of God in Preaching. I like John Piper so I read the introduction and the first chapter. The coffee shop has a program that allows people to check out books. I checked it out thinking maybe I would read some of it on Sunday.

Sunday afternoon I once again grew weary from cramming Spanish idiomatic expressions into my head (why don’t they just say what they mean instead of saying the opposite of what they mean but it really means what they want – it’s so confusing. I’m sure we never do this in English). I went to the park, set on bench, and begin reading the book. If you are familiar with John Piper you are aware he doesn’t write with the goal of making you feel warm and fuzzy about yourself.

It’s really been difficult for me since arriving in Honduras because of the language issue. I use language to: encourage, challenge, instruct, make people think, get to know people, pass on what we’ve learned, learn from others what God has shown them, pass on passion and heart, support people, etc. I’ve developed a certain amount of confidence in my ability to communicate. So, with the language issue I feel as if I’m constantly operating with both hands tied behind my back. Unable to encourage, challenge, make people think, learn from others, motivate them to get into God’s Word and see what it says, support people, love on people, and help expand their vision and understanding of God.

As I’m reading this book Piper is making the point (or more accurately reminding me of the point I’ve apparently forgotten) that our purpose in communicating is to bring glory to God. If we are communicating in a way that brings attention to ourselves and our abilities the goal of God being glorified is diminished and the glorification of ourselves is being increased. Paul says he didn’t come using great communication skills (1 Cor 2:4) but he came in the power and demonstration of the Holy Spirit so God would be glorified – not Paul. Paul had confidence that the things of God are not taught by human wisdom and abilities but by the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 2:13).

As I read (see, English is so simple: Read – sometimes pronounced “Reed” and sometimes pronounced “Red”. I don’t see what’s so difficult about English) these verses I begin to think about myself and my push to learn Spanish. What is my motivation? Is it so God will be glorified because I can more effectively communicate in Spanish? Or, is it so Brad will feel better about himself? Is Brad missing the personal satisfaction and enjoyment of teaching and being on center stage? It appears “Self” has raised its ugly head once again in my life. If I’m honest I believe I have moved past the point of working on my Spanish to be able to glorify God and have passed into working on Spanish so Brad can get back to where he “believed” he was in the States. (I use “believed” because something tells me I was thinking a little more of my abilities than the truth would reveal).

So, now I’m wondering, maybe I will never be fluent in Spanish. Maybe I should relax, study my Spanish, but trust God to allow me to learn the little (or lot) of Spanish He needs me to learn so I can be most effectively used by Him to bring glory to Him. Do I believe as Paul did that the things of God are taught by the Holy Spirit and not be human wisdom (read Brad’s abilities) or do I believe that unless I can get to the communication level in Spanish that I have in English the things of God can’t be taught effectively. A very interesting question for myself. Presently, I don’t think I like my answer.

I guess it comes down to what do I trust in most? What God says in His Word or in my own ability.